When you call all of your friend’s parents
“aunty” and “uncle.” “Mr.” and “Mrs.” are a definite no-no.
When a match against India > anything in
this world.
When your homepage would always be full of
Humsafar posts.
When you cover anything and everything that
is new in your house with plastic covers – be it the remote control or the VCR or the new
living room couch.
When the woman’s laugh in Hasb-e-Haal will
always annoy you.
When mendhi dance class is some serious
shit.
When you’re happy and you know it, you do
the bhangra.
When you support any other team playing
against India in a cricket match.
When you’ve had a bowl haircut (commonly referred to as pyaala cut) at one point
in your life.
When seiviyaan on Eid is a must.
When you hate on your president to kill
time.
When you claim that you love your “ammi keh
haath ka khana” and you daily argue with her, “yeh kya pakaaya hai?”
When the only reason they can’t make space
for you in the car is because they don’t want you in the car.
When Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan is your Elvis.
When the traffic police is there just to
piss you off.
When you crave for biryani 24/7.
When you plan everything according to the
“light-jab-ayegi/jayegi-” wala time.
When the only reason you agree to go to
parties/weddings is for the muft ka khana.
When you celebrate Pakistan’s victory or
any other victory by firing.
When an India-Pakistan cricket match brings
the entire country together.
When a day without load-shedding is the
happiest day of your life.
When your family arrives at a party an hour
late, only to realize you're the first ones there.
When at weddings, you are approached by
fifty bajillion aunties, uncles, your dad's brother's wife's cousin and other miscellaneous
relatives that come and squeeze your cheeks and kiss you and ask if you
remember them.
When regardless if you're a male or a female,
you know how to cook.
When you’re a pro at making chai.
When your parents you get angry if you get anything
less than a 95 or A on your report card.
If you're caught talking to an individual
of the opposite gender, every aunty will gossip about you and tell their
children that you're a "bad influence."
If you're 15+, your mom has already started
pointing out good-looking, and sometimes not-so-good-looking, Paki boys for
your rishta.
When you can walk over to any Paki family
in your neighborhood asking for sugar, eggs, or any other grocery need. In
fact, they'd give you a few pounds of chicken, and maybe throw in a cake as
well and without expecting anything back.
When you attend as many Paki dinners as
possible, which is easy because they occur once or twice a week.
When you consider saying ‘no’ to an aunty
when she asks you if want more food as a “yolo” moment.
When you have been mistaken for an Indian
before.
When you talk to your Paki friends in
Urdu/Pashto/Punjabi/etc. whenever you want to bug the heck out of your non-desi
friends.
If you're male, you know how to play
cricket.
When you know that if you don't find the
love of your life, your parents will be more than willing to arrange a marriage
for you.
When you get to skip up to two days of
school because of Eid.
When you’re either asked to be a doctor or
an engineer by your parents.
When you have the tendency to rhyme actual
words with words that don’t even exist – coke shoke, khaana shaana, chaye
waye.. and so on.
When you tell your mother you feel sick and
she asks you to take 2 panadols and then says, “Bus Allah peh chor dou”.
When making a late entry is not a habit, it’s a lifestyle.
When making a late entry is not a habit, it’s a lifestyle.
When your relatives alone can populate a
whole town.
When you sleep to no electricity and wake
up to no electricity.
When you can wear skinny jeans when it’s 45 degrees outside.
When you can wear skinny jeans when it’s 45 degrees outside.
… And when you’re just plain awesome!
